"For Sale" terminology aids..............................
(special thanks to Dennis Wray of the Crosley Automobile Club)..............................


If the ad claims...

it really means...
rough condition...

too bad to lie about

parts car...
beyond repair
immaculate...
recently washed
concours...
recently waxed
engine quiet...
uses 90-weight oil
needs minor overhaul...
needs engine
needs major overhaul...
Phone the junkyard
burns no oil...
(it all leaks out)
rebuilt engine...
Cleaned the spark plugs.
Drive it away...
I live on a hill.
Drive it anywhere...
(within 10 miles)
desirable classic...
No one wants it.
rare classic...
No one wanted it even when it was new.
stored 20 years...
(in a farmer's field)
ran when stored...
Won't start.
never apart...
Bolts too rounded to loosen.
solid as a rock...
rusted solid
restored, with 0 miles...
Won't start.
restored, with 2 miles...
Won't stay running.

Above: Never touch an working engine. Never open an engine that made strange noises but worked. All sort of ill-tempered gremlins may lurk in there. Hey, those noises must come from somewhere! Wait till the engine dies, than spray them with holy water and burry them deep in an graveyard in a full moon night.

Out of one of the best french comic series I know: Joe Bar. The adventures of a bikers like you and me... Buy them (french and german only, sorry)

older restoration...
First owner washed it.
good investment...
Can't be worth much less.
no time to restore it...
Can't obtain parts.
95% complete...
Other 5% doesn't exist.
Other interests conflict...
Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I go!"